SELECTIONS

7/24/2008• G.B.H., Krumbums

This show is a testament to the immortality of true punk. For 30 years, the U.K.’s GBH (full name: Charged Grievous Bodily Harm) has churned out gutter punk so awesomely grimy, they should hand out Clorox wipes at their merch booth. Despite a misguided attempt to ride the Metallica wave with 1992’s Church of the Truly Warped, GBH have stayed true through the years to their original crumpet anarchy. Last year saw the release of their complete recordings for Clay Records, a label that birthed a handful of today’s most cherished punk acts. Adding to the liberty spikes and three-chord fury are the Krum Bums from Austin, Texas, plus they’re playing with O-town’s toasty pop-punk-rap-klezmer-whatever-else sweethearts Whole Wheat Bread. So don’t forget to dig your old leather jacket out of the closet. Oh, and leave the scum on it.
Thursday, 7 pm; $15. Back Booth, Orlando. 407-999-2570.

7/26/2008• Legacy Hip-Hop Conference

What will you leave behind? It’s the thought that leads so many middle-aged Willy Lomans to buy sports cars, sky-dive or end up in the fetal position under an overpass shouting things like “Baledzguohn! Fetch my vestment. I mean to make trouble for the Senator tonight!” (Just us?) Anyway, mortality … predicative nature of existence … where were we? Ah yes, legacy. In the case of what you’re doing this weekend, legacy refers to another exercise in hip-hop reminiscence (this time with 16 percent more industry condemnation!) from the good folks at Nonsense Records, who know from nostalgia. Tonight is a screening of the terrific PBS documentary Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes – the film explores masculinity’s role in hip-hop (hint: It’s a big one!) – and an art show, followed by a conference the following night about the state of the rap biz. It’s all very cerebral and much-love, but the first person who professes devotion to Soulja Boy will probably be decapitated.
Saturday, 3 pm; free. Ethos Vegan Kitchen, Orlando. 407-228-3899.

7/25/2008• Jerry Seinfeld

One of the more interesting twists in the Jessica Seinfeld cookbook-plagiarism case came when the lawyers for plaintiff Missy Chase Lapine changed their stated definition of Jerry Seinfeld from “comedian” to “actor.” That’s the sort of categorization that generally proves one has never seen a single episode of Seinfeld, but the crafty barristers had an angle: They were trying to blunt the media titan’s defense that he had been speaking satirically when he publicly compared Lapine to other three-named notables … like Mark David Chapman and James Earl Ray. With Seinfeld back on the road as a stand-up attraction, you can judge for yourself if he still deserves to put “comedian” on his 1040 form – or even if, with George Carlin gone, he can rightly be called the greatest observational comic in the world. Just don’t expect to hear any hints for hiding veggies in kids’ meals.
Friday, 7 pm, 9:30 pm; $46-$76. Carr Performing Arts Centre, Orlando. 407-849-2020.

7/25/2008• Frank Caliendo

One of Mad TV’s best assets in its eternal campaign to unseat SNL was Frank Caliendo’s spot-on impression of George W. Bush, which will likely be remembered as the only true success even tangential to Dubya’s eight-year reign. Unlike the prexy, though, Caliendo got out early, leaving Mad TV in 2007 to extend his personal cachet via TBS’ Frank TV. Eight more episodes are due later this year; in the meantime, the portly mimic continues to wow live audiences by completely inhabiting the personas of everybody from John Madden to Jonathan Winters to Chris Farley. If you think the appeal of nightclub impressions died out long before Rich Little was named “safe” entertainment by the National Press Club, Caliendo’s act will remind you that “He sounds just like him!” is still one of the sincerest reactions in show business.
Friday, 7 pm; $45. Hard Rock Live, Orlando. 407-351-5483.

7/25/2008• RX Bandits, Portugal the Man, Facing New York

Projecting a certain shade of stylistic alternative rock, the four-piece Alaskan outfit Portugal the Man has taken a whole-wheat approach on their most recent progressive release. Their fuzzy, warped vocals and drunken guitar riffs have more or less grown to be their signature. Tracks like “Telling Tellers Tell Me,” off their last release, Church Mouth, deliver an unexpected realization of potential and prove that they’re never standing in one genre. Track by track, their experimental side arrives from a homegrown direction. With headliner prog-ska act Rx Bandits, this bill features DIY creativity; their recordings are so inventive that the live show should make for an engaging performance.
Friday, 8 pm; $15. The Social, Orlando. 407-246-1419.

7/26/2008• CAUTION: Urban Art in Progress

This community show comes from within the B-Side Artists collective, all of whom genuinely carry the “urban” distinction and all the passion and pride that comes with it. Stencil artists Tobar and Tess Makin are behind this show of stenciled and wheat-paste art, and it features Swamburger, Paulin Jackson, Matthew Curran, Dolla, Douglas Woods and other up-and-comers. Artists-at-work and -play are the early entertainment at the mini-festival with vegan food and Zion’s menu. Music starts at 4 p.m., and 10 p.m.’s when the late shift takes over.
Saturday, 6 p.m.; $10. Zion Lounge, Orlando. 321-274-4606.

7/26/2008• Operation Sequential Art

You’ve been wandering around in a daze, trying to hang onto the energy you got from watching The Dark Knight. But were you aware that there is a way to follow Bruce Wayne’s adventures all year long? (Even some with the Joker, which I guess is done with CGI or something.) Turns out the movie was based on a long-running comic series and today the current Caped Crusader scribe Chuck Dixon will autograph the cowl fix you crave. Mr. Dixon has been a figure of controversy both in his writing and his politics, but his list of innovations to the series is the stuff of fanboy legend. A Comic Shop is taking the opportunity to garner donations for Operation Sequential Art (an even more pretentious term for the stuff than “graphic novel”) that sends issues of comics to our brave men and women overseas. Bring your old superhero stories to drop off for this two-year-old program, and get a signature worth having tattooed – from the guy who broke Batman’s back! (Look it up.)
Saturday, Noon-5 pm; free. A Comic Shop, Winter Park. 407-332-9636.

7/27/2008• 311, Snoop Dogg, Fiction Plane

From Billy the Kid to Gollum, audiences root for the bad guys because they all share relatable qualities to the rest of us normal types: loneliness, confusion, bad hair. Whatever it is that makes us cross our fingers for a jail break, Long Beach rapper Snoop Dogg (aka Calvin Broadus) has it in spades. Snoop’s been arrested more times than any rational person could credit (five times in 2006 alone), he’s banned from entering the U.K. or Australia, and he’s had to pay tens of millions in lawsuit damages. Still, who’s afraid of the big, bad Dogg? Check out the gentle fatherhood on his TV show, or peep his awkward acting stint on One Life to Live back in May if you need to be convinced that this man is harmless. Seriously, the dude is touring with stoner-rockers 311, for chrissakes! If Snoop didn’t bring the flow so hard, he could be a candidate for History’s Most Toothless Villain.
Sunday, 7:30 pm; $29.50-$88.60. Ford Amphitheatre, Tampa. (813) 740-2446.



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EVENTS TODAY:

7/25/2008

Gods, Prophets and Heroes: The Magnificent Sculpture of Donald De Lue
Forty-three bronze sculptures feature characters from classical mythology, religion and national symbolism; through Oct. 12
Mennello Museum of American Art, Orlando. 7/25/2008, 10:30 am-4:30 pm.


Encore! Cast Choir & Orchestra
Disney World cast members and their families perform classic and contemporary musical numbers together to benefit United Arts. Visit www.encorecentral.org for details
Epcot, Lake Buena Vista. 7/25/2008, 8 pm.


Mickeytown
Check out Morgan Steele's artwork from Orlando Weekly as well as his portriats of Orlando celebrities; through Aug. 2
Dandelion Communitea Cafe, Orlando. 7/25/2008, 11 am-11 pm.


Clarence Van Duzer: Sculpture and Paintings
Exhibit features some of the artist's works commissioned for public art, including a large outdoor copper sculpture; through Aug. 25
The Museum of Florida Art, DeLand. 7/25/2008, 11 am-4 pm.


Art on the Green: Molecular Dog
Miami artist Robert Chambers’ sculpture that strategically configures the propane molecule into the shape of a dog; through Aug. 31
Shady Park, Winter Park. 7/25/2008, Dawn-dusk.


Informed Visions
Exhibit features the digitally rendered, literature-inspired fine art photography of Jamie Baldridge; through Aug. 1
Millenia Fine Art, Orlando. 7/25/2008, 9 am-5 pm.


Angel Egle Wierenga
Paintings by Lithuanian artist Angel Egle Wierenga; through Aug. 15
Guinevere's Gallery, Orlando. 7/25/2008, Noon-6 pm.


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