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Dan Savage Archives

Current Stories
  • Savage Love Twenty-one-year-old female here. When we were both 14, my first boyfriend took advantage of me. I wanted to explore my sexuality a little, but... | 5/22/2013
  • Savage Love Closure and watersports. | 5/22/2013
  • Savage Love Apology hunting | 5/22/2013
  • Savage Love I have a mentally disabled cousin who I haven't figured out how to help. He’s lived for more than 40 years in the same nursing home in a small, conservative... | 5/15/2013
  • Savage Love Butt Plug Love | 5/15/2013
  • Short takes Dressing up as a woman, technical butt-plug question, steal some porn mags, drunk straight girls, spanking someone with consent is sexy, and more | 5/15/2013
  • Savage Love I’m a 24-year-old straight, married woman. I have been religiously reading your column since I was 16. I turn to you now for advice. Five months ago, I... | 5/8/2013
  • Leave That Bum Call a divorce lawyer, someone has to fuck some sense into ’em, nontransactional sex. | 5/8/2013
  • Savage Love Married to a Slob | 5/8/2013
  • Savage Love | 5/1/2013
  • She’s Pulled Up Stakes Get the fuck away from each other, Don’t ask, don’t tell | 5/1/2013
  • Savage Love A Fleshlight In The Friend Zone | 5/1/2013
  • Savage Love DEAR READERS: Last week was made of problems. The bombing of the Boston Marathon, the explosion that leveled a small town in Texas, the rising tide of anti-gay... | 4/24/2013
  • No Problem Letters from people who don’t really have problems. | 4/24/2013
  • Savage Love Stress-Free Savage | 4/24/2013
  • Savage Love | 4/17/2013
  • Foreskin Foul-Up All questions dick, mixing pot and sex, someone else’s sexual fantasies | 4/17/2013
  • Savage Love Cut or Run? | 4/17/2013
  • The Advice of a Episcopal Bishop Reverend Gene Robinson God’s wonderful plan of diversity | 4/10/2013
  • Savage Love | 4/10/2013
  • Savage Love God Loves Fags | 4/10/2013
  • Short cuts transsexual fantasies, motorcycle fears, faculty romance, surrogate partner therapy | 4/3/2013
  • Savage Love No, most men don’t fantasize about their wives sprouting penises. | 4/3/2013
  • Savage Love | 4/3/2013
  • Savage Love My brother is 22 years old and mentally illwith social anxiety on the scale of agoraphobia (officially diagnosed). He’s made significant progress in the past... | 3/27/2013
  • Virgin bro Sexual Surrogates | 3/27/2013
  • Savage Love Consult Your Local Provider | 3/27/2013
  • Savage Love DEAR READERS: I'm off this week. To tide all of your hot and/or kinky and/or sore asses over, here's a column I wrote 15 years ago. Some newer readers might've... | 3/20/2013
  • Gerbils? Again? Gerbiling isn't a thing | 3/20/2013
  • Savage Love Legendary gerbils | 3/20/2013
  • Savage Love I'm an actor in New York City. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project... | 3/13/2013
  • Best foot forward Yes, I am a foot fetishist | 3/13/2013
  • Savage Love Film or Fetish? | 3/13/2013
  • Savage Love My girlfriend and I read your column religiously, and I have you to thank for being comfortable enough with my kinks to tell her about my interest in BDSM. | 3/6/2013
  • Locking it up On whether male chastity devices post long-term problems | 3/6/2013
  • Savage Love Cock Locker Blues | 3/6/2013
  • Savage Love I am writing about a friend. By all appearances, he is straight. However, on more than one occasion, he has gotten drunk and tried to hook up with a... | 2/27/2013
  • Queer goggles Why your pal chases manly ‘ladies’ when he’s bombed | 2/27/2013
  • Savage Love Trans Ambition | 2/27/2013
  • Built that way? Pantsuits, Gay Strip Clubs, cubic zirconia, and shut the fuck up | 2/20/2013
  • Savage Love I'm a 31-year-old genderqueer from a large family. My only sister got engaged 48 hours ago, and she's moving fast on planning the wedding. I texted her... | 2/20/2013
  • Savage Love I'm a 37-year-old single father with a 14-year-old son. Overall he's a good kid. Our relationship isn't perfect – I work a lot and he's a teenager, but no major issues. | 2/13/2013
  • Father figures It’s time for a gay sex talk | 2/13/2013
  • Cuck you Untangling what it means to be poly, open and into cuckolding | 2/6/2013
  • Savage Love I'm a 27-year-old man in a two-year relationship with a 26-year-old woman. My last partner cheated and lied and did some unforgivable things. Our breakup unearthed... | 2/6/2013
  • Addicted to love? Sex-negative therapists and the fallacy of 'sex addiction' | 1/30/2013
  • Savage Love I've been a fan of your Savage Lovecast for a long time, but I had to write after hearing Marty Klein's awesome talk about the fallacy of "sex addiction." | 1/30/2013
  • Double-crossed How to deal when your 'friend' posts cross-dressing pics of you on Facebook | 1/23/2013
  • Savage Love A friend of mine on the opposite coast is a cross-dresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female friend he had known for a long time... | 1/23/2013
  • Presents for V.D. Advice on sexy-gift shopping for your valentine | 1/15/2013
  • Presents for V.D. Advice on sexy-gift shopping for your valentine | 1/15/2013
  • Savage Love My name is Nancy, and I'm 19. Myboyfriend's Carl; we have been together for almost a year, and we have great sex frequently! I want to do... | 1/16/2013
  • Gay panic attack Dude, taking a shemale's member up the bum doesn't make you gay | 1/9/2013
  • Savage Love I'm a straight male, 21 years old. I love women. I love women, I love having sex with women. However, in the last year, here and there, I've jerked off to transsexual porn. One night, after drinking and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex | 1/9/2013
  • Short & Snappy Quick queries and rapid responses | 1/2/2013
  • Savage Love More than a thousand people showed up for a recent Savage Love Live event at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It goes without saying that the... | 1/2/2013
  • Savage Love I just started an intense relationship with a guy who has a boyfriend. This guy and I love each other. However, he is uncomfortable with me meeting his boyfriend. | 12/26/2012
  • Holiday grab bag Host of queries, and an after-Christmas miracle | 12/26/2012
  • Savage Love This is a touchy and gross subject. I am a 17-year-old girl growing up in an adoptive family in Australia. I was sexually abused by my birth family, and... | 12/19/2012
  • Family matters When sex comes a little too close to home | 12/19/2012
  • Plug + gas = Question for Dan If unstoppable flatulence meets unmovable object... | 12/12/2012
  • Savage Love At a dinner party, a straight man put a question to my boyfriend and me. He assumed that we, being gay men, would have an answer for him. We did... | 12/12/2012
  • Built that way? Who says poly isn't an orientation? Dan Savage gets an earful (and this week's column) | 12/5/2012
  • Savage Love | 12/5/2012
  • Savage Love I'm a straight man at that age where the general public still considers me young. Although I've attended many weddings, I have no interest in... | 11/28/2012
  • Going it alone Sorry Mom and Dad: More and more people are deciding to stay single longer | 11/28/2012
  • Kickin' it He wants it right in the jewels, but is it, like, sexual? | 11/21/2012
  • Savage Love I am a 22-year-old straight female. I used to babysit for a wealthy family, but their children have outgrown babysitters. The dad of this family is very into... | 11/21/2012
  • Joy in the morning Elation and congratulations over votes in favor of marriage equality | 11/14/2012
  • Savage Love Reading you over the years has absolutely changed my mind on gay marriage. I wanted to let you know that. I also live in Maryland, and (as you know) we voted last... | 11/14/2012
  • Bored by blow jobs I want more than hit-and-run oral from my new friend | 11/7/2012
  • Savage Love | 11/7/2012
  • Savage Love | 10/31/2012
  • Savage Love Public sex, saline balls and how to handle a cam girl. | 10/31/2012
  • 'My 14-year-old is looking at porn!' It's not the end of the world. Here's what to tell him. | 10/24/2012
  • Savage Love What the hell do I say to my straight 14-year-old son about porn? Should I say anything? My sister tells me that all the research shows my son has been... | 10/24/2012
  • Savage Love I'm pro-choice. The anti-choice position – particularly the dumb contention that "personhood" begins when sperm hits egg – is illogical and unappealing. It's not... | 10/17/2012
  • Damn you, Dan! Savage gets savaged for advice | 10/17/2012
  • Her choice How to find out if your boyfriend is merely troubled by abortion or a pro-life zealot | 10/10/2012
  • Savage Love I recently discovered that my boyfriend of seven months and I have opposing viewpoints on the whole "life begins at conception" issue. He's not a... | 10/10/2012
  • Savage Love | 9/12/2012
  • Savage Love Last week, I appeared at a "Savage Love Live" event at Radford University in Radford, Va. Questions are submitted on index cards at SLL events... | 10/3/2012
  • Quick shots Speedy answers to selected questions from students at Radford University | 10/3/2012
  • Fly the freak flag high Pride parades? Kinky street fairs? Still relevant? | 9/26/2012
  • Savage Love I was wondering what you think about the Folsom Street Fair, the annual gay leather/fetish/BDSM street fair in San Francisco. Do you think it is still a... | 9/19/2012
  • Vanilla twist? My favorite things are on the 'no' list, but is she worth it? | 9/19/2012
  • Better than bananas Aunt wants to give niece sex books and toys, but wants advice | 9/12/2012
  • Boned at Burning Man? Is man's burner girlfriend burning him while at Black Rock? | 9/5/2012
  • Savage Love I have been in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman who doesn't have a lot of people she socializes with in her daily life. She is a Burning Man person... | 9/5/2012
  • Savage Love Not sure that even you can help with this one, but I'll give it a shot … My husband and I enjoy a solid, trusting BDSM relationship, and we're both quite... | 8/29/2012
  • In dreams Sexual mishaps while sleeping make for mail | 8/29/2012
  • Savage Love I am a college-age gay man. Last year, I dated two guys. The first – let's call him Mitt – I dated for five months. He broke up with me, and it hurt as much as... | 8/22/2012
  • Do unto others He gets what he wants. How about a little tongue for her? | 8/22/2012
  • Advice from a crush Girl has the hots for Tegan and Sara; that's funny, because Dan happens to have Tegan right here | 8/15/2012
  • Savage Love I've been confused about my sexuality for two years. I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of... | 8/15/2012
  • Savage Love DEAR READERS: I'm on vacation for the next two weeks. This week's column features three recent Savage Love Letters of the Day. (The SLLOTD goes out to folks who... | 8/8/2012
  • Daily questions While Dan's on vacation, we draw from the Letter of the Day files | 8/8/2012
  • Savage Love I have a question regarding pornography usage and browser histories. As a matter of courtesy to my wife (and anyone else who may use our devices), I always clear... | 8/2/2012
  • Sex toy etiquette Tactful house guests won't mention what they find | 8/1/2012
  • Condom condemnation? The pill is bad for her. He rejects rubbers. Can Dan help them? | 7/25/2012