Holiday Guide 2010
Published: November 18, 2010
Dear Loved Ones
Wow, what a year it’s been! Apologies for the form letter, but we just have so much joy to share and we thought this would be the most magical way to include each and every one of you. As you may know, Grandpa Bob took a turn for the worse this spring, so we shipped him out West where the air is cleaner; we assume he’s doing just fine. We didn’t even really have time to dwell on his departure, though, as just a few months later a hip new auntie showed up on our welcome mat with a sparkle in her eye and a purse full of gum. Granted, we didn’t know we had an Auntie Erin, but boy does she know her way around with a broom. We’ll keep her! Oh, and gay cousin Billy ended up in the hospital (again!) but sometimes we think he just does that for attention. Oh, Billy.
As you know, it’s one of our holiday traditions to point your sleigh in the direction of the merriest holiday goings-on in our great city of Orlando. To that end, attached to this dispatch of warm tidings, please find our own little advent calendar chock full of sweet treats for your yuletide amusement. You wouldn’t want to stay snowed in at that winter cottage of yours, curled up on a bear rug and making glances at your lover’s apple-cider lips, when so many other people want to shove cheer down your stocking, now would you? Oh, come on!
Well, assuming you do have some down time, we corralled the whole brood and got to reflecting on some of our own very special memories of Christmases past. The kids worked very hard with their candy cane pens and matching stationery to scribble out some of their most beloved stories of holiday joy. What’s Christmas about if not sharing? (Don’t answer that.)
If we had one Christmas wish this glorious season, it would be that this parcel of love finds you in the greatest of spirits and with the roastiest of chestnuts. Oh, and if you hear something jingling on your roof, just remember it’s probably Old Saint Nick and not that process server you’ve been avoiding. But, to be safe, just pretend you’re asleep either way!
Happy holidays, from our broken family to yours. Oh, and grab some eggnog. It’s going to be a long December.
Comfort and joy,
The Orlando Weekly family
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