Orlando Weekly's Guide to the Holidays
Published: November 24, 2011
It’s a miracle! We’ve coughed up this holiday guide chock-full of wish lists and gift ideas and decorative filigree just for you. Now you don’t even have to visit your grandparents this year to experience awkward neediness!
Inside, we have laid bare our souls in an effort to stimulate your crass consumerism and, well, maybe score a little something for ourselves, too. But, like most miracles, this one comes with a catch. By accepting this miracle, you have tacitly agreed to purchase at least 10 items for our needy staff. It’s kind of like a chain letter. Just forward this to 10 of your friends, make them forward it to 10 of their friends – and so on – until everybody is happy. We all win at Christmas!
If you choose not to participate in this particular Christmas miracle (jerk!), just go ahead and flip through the following pages where you’ll find a plastic snowstorm of diversions to keep your nuts cracking and your dreidel spinning all season long. The lazy ones among us might want to check back in a month for our last-ditch effort to get you to press your credit card’s longest yard with our last-minute gift guide. For now, though, we’ll be wanly staring into our empty mailboxes awaiting your finely wrapped parcels, choking on swill and avoiding our grandparents’ phone calls.
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